What's the point?

Shanmu’s recent blog touched me. Touched a hot, inflammated, infected and dreadfully painful spot in me. My heart.

For the past 2 years, my life has been a mess. No, not the mess you might be thinking of. It has actually been good. Tasty food, air-conditioned office, a nice activa that takes me around the city, good money, and as a top up, a US trip. Cool. But now that I have booked a house, I was diverted from my blissful journey to this treacherous dump. On introspection, I should say my life has been perfect, but perfect only from a blissfully ignorant buffalo’s stand-point.

Didn’t get it? Let me explain. What all ambitions does a hyderabadi buffalo have? Eat a lot of junk, laze in the middle of the highway, enrage a few people like my old boss, f*** someone nice, give birth to a little one, and die under the wheels of a Hyderabad MMTS train on its inauguration run. See, this is “not” a typical buffalo’s life. Its life had a little color in it. It’s not commonplace for a buffalo to succeed in slowing down a speeding car driven by a very special person. It’s a unique blessing bestowed by God, like my US trip. Secondly, not all buffalos get mowed by Hyderabad MMTS trains on their inauguration ceremony. It’s gotta be a special occasion, like the way I’ll one day die.

If you have been reading the above paragraph carefully, you should have noticed the point I’ve been trying to drive home. If it makes no sense, please press Ctrl-F4 and get out.

I understand that it is important to introspect one’s life and to analyze how one has led it so far. That’s generally used to improve upon the next introspection period. But just imagine the plight of a person who sees a grinning buffalo when he tries to visualize his life!

After two years of living a buffalo’s life, with some silly success under the arm-pits, the future looks bleak. I have learnt nothing in the past two years and I am totally unsure what to do. I have no interest in anything and I have no passion of any sort. I am just a floating twig in a pond. Riding the waves when there’s some wind and sitting still when there’s no wind.

According to Vivekananda and Gita, two epics in Indian history and culture, one has to aim high and yet, have no attachment to success. That’s another way of asking you not to get depressed if you don’t reach it. What’s the point fighting to reach your aim, when you are not passionate about reaching it? Like in the matrix, what the Oracle says is just what you ought to know, and might not be the whole truth. Like wise, looks like the philosophers who have been endeavoring to spread the meaning of life to the masses, actually manipulated the truth and told us what we ought to know, so that we don’t get depressed at the end. But the actual truth could as well be, that life is pointless.